Day 1
After the breakup, I was really amazed and thrilled at the amount of support I received from so many incredible people here. I built a damn good network, if I do say so myself.
But I was still kind of a fucking wreck. I was drinking, basically morning to night (when I realized I wasn't functioning, I took some time off work), and I was relying on friends to keep me company all the time.
I walked into a local bar at 11am, drank until 3pm with friends there, and skipped my way off to begin house-drinking with Kosher Dill. I've known Kosher for several years now, and he's always been pretty damn clear about wanting to hook up. My only real opposition to the idea all along was the thing with Faded Glory, so we did a couple of shots and got down to business. No foreplay, no kissing, just me, bent over my bed, getting railed. (CHEAP DATE!)
Midway through, we thought we heard my front door opening (false alarm, but it got us moving!). We went back downstairs, and when no one was there, we finished up fully clothed against the sink in the powder room. This was (to date) the biggest dick of the summer, and it was a great reset button!
But day one isn't over yet! We had a whole damn deck party, and went through nearly 200 jello shots. Kosher Dill dipped out, but some other incredible friends came through and kept me up well into the night.
At one point, I realized I wasn't quite done pulling dick for the night, so I surveyed my deck's occupants, and selected one without ties or other obligations, and asked him to stay. He agreed like a sweet little puppy that's eager to please. Unfortunately, puppies don't tend to please well. They've gotta get a bit bigger first. ...Yeah, you heard me. Too much to drink, maybe too much coke, and he couldn't get hard. He still wanted to please, so he wanted to go down, which would've been fine (and mind you, at this point I've not showered in a day and a half, which included drinking for two full days, a hangover, and OH YEAH! Another dick!). All of that, and I didn't give even one single fuck. If the Komodo dragon felt like fucking, I'd oblige. But he was a TERRIBLE kisser--like a lizard's tongue. It's like he couldn't decide if he wanted to kiss or not.
Here's the thing, if I hate the way you kiss, I'm GUARANTEED to hate the way you eat pussy. NOPE! Kicked him out around 6am, and even that was overstaying his welcome.
So in the winners column: Kosher Dill. In the "GTFO" column: Komodo Dragon.
Stay tuned for the next dick!
But I was still kind of a fucking wreck. I was drinking, basically morning to night (when I realized I wasn't functioning, I took some time off work), and I was relying on friends to keep me company all the time.
I walked into a local bar at 11am, drank until 3pm with friends there, and skipped my way off to begin house-drinking with Kosher Dill. I've known Kosher for several years now, and he's always been pretty damn clear about wanting to hook up. My only real opposition to the idea all along was the thing with Faded Glory, so we did a couple of shots and got down to business. No foreplay, no kissing, just me, bent over my bed, getting railed. (CHEAP DATE!)
Midway through, we thought we heard my front door opening (false alarm, but it got us moving!). We went back downstairs, and when no one was there, we finished up fully clothed against the sink in the powder room. This was (to date) the biggest dick of the summer, and it was a great reset button!
But day one isn't over yet! We had a whole damn deck party, and went through nearly 200 jello shots. Kosher Dill dipped out, but some other incredible friends came through and kept me up well into the night.
At one point, I realized I wasn't quite done pulling dick for the night, so I surveyed my deck's occupants, and selected one without ties or other obligations, and asked him to stay. He agreed like a sweet little puppy that's eager to please. Unfortunately, puppies don't tend to please well. They've gotta get a bit bigger first. ...Yeah, you heard me. Too much to drink, maybe too much coke, and he couldn't get hard. He still wanted to please, so he wanted to go down, which would've been fine (and mind you, at this point I've not showered in a day and a half, which included drinking for two full days, a hangover, and OH YEAH! Another dick!). All of that, and I didn't give even one single fuck. If the Komodo dragon felt like fucking, I'd oblige. But he was a TERRIBLE kisser--like a lizard's tongue. It's like he couldn't decide if he wanted to kiss or not.
Here's the thing, if I hate the way you kiss, I'm GUARANTEED to hate the way you eat pussy. NOPE! Kicked him out around 6am, and even that was overstaying his welcome.
So in the winners column: Kosher Dill. In the "GTFO" column: Komodo Dragon.
Stay tuned for the next dick!
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